Note: All names and identifying information have been changed.

What is Sex Addiction?

Richard clicked on his computer one night a few years ago, and a pop up ad led him to a sexually provocative web site. His heart began to beat rapidly, and his palms began to sweat. It seemed like only a half hour had passed, but he looked at the clock and realized it was 1:00 a.m. He breathed a sigh of relief that his wife was out of town, and he didn’t get caught.

Within a few weeks, Richard couldn’t wait to get home and click on his favorite sites. Throughout each day he looked forward to being alone with his computer where he could click his way into sites that relieved stress . He began to masturbate to the images online.

Months later, the net lost its luster. He needed something new to get the same feelings of elation he used to get with online porn. This led him through the doors of adult stores and massage parlors. His work was slipping, and he began to miss larger parts of his work day due to his obsession with sex and masturbation. He was a top executive for a large company, and covered his tracks well at first. But six months into his addiction, he started to miss important meetings.

One night, his wife awoke to use the restroom and noticed the light from the computer screen in the next room. She expected her college aged daughter to be typing a report, but walked in on Richard masturbating to a woman online. She watched for a few moments, and then he felt her presence. He quickly shrunk the screen and pretended he was researching to buy new golf clubs. “That’s it,” she said. “Are you sick, or what?!” She threatened to leave him, but then rethought it quickly and gave him an ultimatum. He could either get help, or get out.

Richard showed all the signs of sexual addiction:

1. Inability to control his behavior.

2. The need to surpass what he has done previously in order to achieve the same results.

3. Problems in one or more areas of his life due to his behavior, including relationships, work,

and/or the legal system.

4. Efforts to stop by willpower have failed.

Remember, not all sex addicts are men. I specialize in treating spouses (usually wives, but not always) of pornography and/or sex addicts.