Note: All names and identifying information have been changed.

Help for the Sex Addict and His or Her Spouse

Perhaps you’re surprised to discover that sex addicts can be female. It is estimated that from 30% to 50% of sex addicts are female. But often their addictions are more relational, such as meeting men on the internet. Sometimes they leave their spouses for men they meet on the net. In virtual reality, men she is instant messaging have time to plan what they say. This makes them one dimensional, and also buys time necessary to plan the perfect answer to questions, unlike real life. This, of course, makes him appear to be caring, sensitive, and close to perfect. So it’s this person that the woman actually falls for.

The good news is that there is hope for the addict and his or her spouse. A good treatment program includes indepth therapy by a person knowledgeable about the subject to get to the roots of the problem. Also, a 12-step program with a sponsor who helps them work the steps vigorously and thoroughly is a must. But the crux of the program is the boundaries of the spouse. He or she has to make and keep clear boundaries. One of my specialties is treating spouses of pornography and/or sex addicts.

For spouses:
S-Anon International Family Groups: www.sanon.org for spouses of pornography/sex addicts
Codependents of Sexual Addiction: www.cosa-recovery.org for spouses of pornography/sex addicts
For people struggling with pornography/sex addiction:
Sex Addicts Anonymous: www.sexaa.org
Prodigals International: www.prodigalsinternational.org for Christians struggling with pornography/sex addiction