Cherrie Herrin-Michehl, MA, LMHC
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
become the person you were meant to be...
Pornography Issues 
 

Sadly, pornography is taking a monumental toll on relationships nowadays due to its anonymity and easy access via the Internet. Pornography use can easily morph into an addiction and shatter relationships. I have helped numerous couples repair their relationships after the trust has been destroyed by pornography. Men who struggle to a great degree with this issue often have the following personality traits: They tend to be people pleasers (usually some of the “nicest” guys you have ever met), they are often overachievers, and they usually have had difficulties with their own fathers. Until these are addressed, it is next to impossible to work on this addiction. Also, they won’t change until their wives draw a line in the sand and call them to glory, so to speak. In other words, they won’t change until they know that she has firm boundaries that she will implement. Often the wives of pornography addicts have codependency issues, and need to work on their own problems. Unfortunately, if pornography addiction is not dealt with, the men develop a tolerance and gradually perform more risky activities to try to get the same thrill that porn once offered. This frequently leads to shattered lives.

 

48% of families in general identify pornography as a problem in their home

poll taken by Focus on the Family, 2003

 

The following articles provide further insight for overcoming sexual addictions:

What Is Sex Addiction?

Help For the Sex Addict and His or Her Spouse

Resources For the Addict and Spouse

The Three C's for the Spouse of a Sex Addict

The Lure of the Net

Pornography and Addiction

Resources

 

 

Cherrie spoke at the Restoring Hearts Conference on March 6, 2010.  The conference was held at Eastside Foursquare Church in Bothell Washington.  The web link for Restoring Hearts is www.nationalcoalition.org/seattle.asp.

Listen in as Cherrie discusses the symptoms, causes, and treatment of pornography addiction on KGNW 820am radio on Monday, April 13, from 4:00-5:00 pm.

 

Internet Sex Addiction Checklist (from Prodigals International)

We provide both a general Sexual Addiction checklist and this Internet Sex Addiction checklist because there are many men who believe the issue is not a big deal if it's limited to just the Internet. The fact is, most Sexual Addicts are first exposed to pornography on the Internet.

Check each of the following that apply to you.

  •  Do you regularly spend time looking for sexual stimulation on the Internet (pornography, sexual/romantic chat rooms, etc.)?
  • Have you tried to stop your involvement with Internet pornography, but have been unable?
  • Does your involvement with Internet sex interfere with your physical well-being (e.g. being tired from staying up late viewing Internet pornography)?
  • Have you masturbated while watching Internet pornography or immediately afterwards?
  • Do you hide your involvement with cybersex from your spouse or others close to you?
  • Are you preoccupied during the day with sexual fantasizing based on images or experiences you've had on the Internet?
  • Do you try to avoid social engagements, or try to leave such engagements early in order to spend more time involved in Internet sex?
  • Have you logged on to Internet sex sites from your computer at work?
  • Have you felt shame or depression following involvement with cybersex?
  • Do you feel estrangement in your relationship with God because of your involvement with Internet pornography?
  • Are you less involved with your spouse or close friends because of your involvement with cybersex?
  • Have you lied to your spouse or others about your use of Internet pornography?
  • Have your family or friends complained about the amount of time you spend online?
  • Do you frequently become angry and irritable when asked by family or friends to decrease your involvement with the Internet?

Interpretation:

'Yes' on 1-3 questions indicates you may have a problem and should immediately talk with a trusted friend or pastor about this area of your life.

More than 3 positive answers is an indication of a serious problem. You should immediately seek the help of a Christian counselor or consider a Christ-centered recovery ministry like Prodigals International Homecoming that specializing in sexual addiction recovery. See the article Recovery From Internet Pornography for more helpful tips.